Drawbridge

watching the rain from behind a window can make one pensive.
a situational button that triggers the connection between heart and mind.
like a drawbridge lowered to a castle – old, dusty and untouched.
the memory of rooms and hallways is hazy, fleeting vague images.
the passages are hard to traverse, so unfamiliar and forgotten.
so let me just sit here for a while.
for in a moment, this will all pass back into oblivion.

today is one of those days where i allow my thoughts to indulge themselves.

growing up, i learned that there were two types of questions: worthy questions and stupid questions.
often, if i asked the latter, i’d get frustrated responses that would elicit a barrage of emotions signalling some extent of impairment or imcompetency.
it would usually feel like the fault was mine for raising such a ridiculous query.
for a long time, i thought i was the only one afflicted with this “condition”.
then, as i moved through different phases and met a variety of human beings, i realized that it was simply a matter of processing style.
some were better with the abstract, big picture stuff; others were better at the concrete, detailed stuff.
some found it easier to store and manipulate information presented in audio formats, others in visual formats.
the degree of diversity in perspectives is enormous, and completely intentional.
we were not meant to feel the same way, think the same way or do things the same way.
because of these differences, it seems only logical to expect miscommunication and misunderstanding.
and doesn’t it follow that the way around this is asking earnest questions and seeking first to understand?
ascribing a valence to questions, then, is irrelevant and non-value added.
not easy to avoid, but completely necessary.

always tending towards the glass half empty.
expecting malevolent intentions, assuming the worst.
but you, you fill up that glass good with your worldview.
“just try your best”, you say, “that’s all you can do”.
“and no matter what, i’ll be with you”.

but you love me, you love me
why the hell you love me so
when you could have anyone else
he loves me, he loves me
and i bet he never lets me go
and shows me how to love myself.